


brother of the year award

by kingwellsjaha



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Crack(ish), Dunking on Ubbe is not a hobby of mine; it is an art form!, Gen, Heahmund/Ivar (background), Sigurd is allowed some growth as a treat!, most other canon relationships for these guys will also be mentioned, text message AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:33:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24438241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingwellsjaha/pseuds/kingwellsjaha
Summary: Hvitserk[11:14]: hey its been a while but i need ur helpHvitserk[11:15]: its about ivar.Ubbe[12:10]: Of course it is about Ivar. I told you staying with him would bite you in the back, what has he done this time?Hvitserk[12:17]: its not about that.Ubbe[12:17]: Really? So he hasn’t tried to kill you yet?Hvitserk[12:18]: multiple timesHvitserk[12:19]: but besides the pointHvitserk just wants to help Ivar. Ubbe does not. Sigurd is here for the drama and Ivar has left the chat ages ago.aka aslaugssons text message au
Relationships: Hvitserk & Sigurd & Ubbe (Vikings)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 28





	brother of the year award

**Author's Note:**

> this is silly and not 100% in character. i basically decided that sigurd is allowed a bit of character development and inner growth. read this as a small funny piece of guys being dudes. i hope it will brighten your day in times like this.
> 
> pairings mentioned: heavar, margrethe x ubbe, ubbe x margrethe x hvitserk, ubbe x torvi, freyvar
> 
> cw use of ableist language (i think only in the group chat name though)

**Hvitserk[11:14]:** hey its been a while but i need ur help

 **Hvitserk[11:15]:** its about ivar.

 **Ubbe[12:10]:** Of course it is about Ivar. I told you staying with him would bite you in the back, what has he done this time?

 **Hvitserk[12:16]:** 😒

 **Hvitserk[12:17]:** its not about that.

 **Ubbe[12:17]:** Really? So he hasn’t tried to kill you yet?

 **Hvitserk[12:18]:** multiple times

 **Hvitserk[12:19]:** but besides the point

 **Ubbe[12:21]:** Multiple times? You are ridiculous.

 **Hvitserk[12:22]:** its about something more delicate.

 **Hvitserk[12:22]:** r u willing 2 listen or will u continue 2 tell me how stupid i am?

 **Ubbe[12:24]:** Fine.

 **Hvitserk[12:26]:** the thing is ivar has some1

 **Ubbe[12:27]:** Okay?

 **Hvitserk[12:28]:** its a dude.

 **Ubbe[12:29]:** Oh.

 **Ubbe[12:29]:** I see

 **Ubbe[12:30]:** And you don’t know how to deal with that?

 **Hvitserk[12:32]:** no its not like that. im totally fine with it all

 **Hvitserk[12:33]:** love who u love!

 **Hvitserk[12:35]:** but i dont know how 2 show my support u know

 **Hvitserk[12:36]:** and given that u r like the older brother i thought u could help.

 **Ubbe[12:38]:** Ah I understand.

 **Ubbe[12:38]:** No.

 **Hvitserk[12:39]:** ???

 **Hvitserk[12:40]:** no?

 **Ubbe[12:41]:** Me and Ivar are not on speaking terms and I refuse to try and help this egomaniacal oversized murderous baby feel comfortable

 **Ubbe[12:42]:** Gay or not.

 **Hvitserk[12:43]:** ubbe…

 **Hvitserk[12:44]:** u have 2 look past that man

 **Hvitserk[12:45]:** like i get y u r angry.

 **Hvitserk[12:46]:** & be angry for all its worth but this is an important vulnerable moment 4 ivar

 **Hvitserk[12:47]:** & we as a family shouldnt be homophobic about it

 **Ubbe[12:48]:** This is not homophobic. He literally rammed a knife into Sigurd’s stomach and almost killed him.

 **Ubbe[12:50]:** And humiliated me in front of father’s company.

 **Ubbe[12:50]:** He is an asshole and needs to simmer. End of discussion.

 **Ubbe[12:51]:** And don’t you lecture me on family matters.

 **Ubbe[12:51]:** You who literally decided to stay with Ivar LAST MINUTE

 **Ubbe[12:52]:** I had the flight booked and everything, but you decided to stay.

 **Ubbe[12:53]:** And as long as things remain this way, you will not get my help.

 **Hvitserk[12:58]:** wow way 2 derail the conversation

 **Ubbe[12:59]:** I am not derailing anything

 **Hvitserk[13:00]** u r

 **Hvitserk[13:01]:** but FINE

 **Hvitserk[13:02]:** then i will do it alone i guess.

 **Hvitserk[13:03]:** leave it 2 me 2 prove that this family isnt homophobic

 **Ubbe[13:35]:** Björn is literally dating Halfdan right now, but okay.

 **Sigurd[18:17]:** This was certainly a thing to wake up to

 **Sigurd[18:18]:** How did you find out Hvitserk?

 **Hvitserk[18:19]:** SIGGY

 **Ubbe[18:20]:** I really didn’t think you would reply to this convo…

 **Sigurd[18:21]:** I am feeling generous

 **Ubbe[18:22]:** How are things across the pond?

 **Hvitserk[18:22]:** i saw them together in our kitchen making out

 **Sigurd[18:23]:** Very nice, the weather is five times better and not being in immediate danger of being killed really does wonders for your mental health.

 **Sigurd[18:23]:** Interesting

 **Ubbe[18:24]:** Good to hear.

 **Hvitserk[18:24]:** dont think he was expecting me 2 be home this early. i quickly darted 2 the door & havent seen him since. kind of want 2 send him a message asking if everythings alright but maybe thats a lil 2 much?

 **Sigurd[18:25]:** It will piss off Ivar, if that is what you are scared off

 **Hvitserk[18:26]:** … yea

 **Hvitserk[18:27]:** but like if it would be a girl that would totally be the way i would do that

 **Hvitserk[18:28]:** congratulate him on the notch & all

 **Sigurd[18:30]:** Pretty sure, that would make him squeamish as well.

 **Hvitserk[18:32]:** i get the feeling that u find this situation more amusing than anything else.

 **Sigurd[18:34]:** Well…

 **Hvitserk[18:36]:** arent you at least a lil surprised?

 **Sigurd[18:39]:** WELL…

 **Ubbe[18:40]:** Nothing is surprising anymore when it comes to Ivar. I would be more surprised if I wouldn’t be surprised.

 **Sigurd[18:41]:** ^

 **Sigurd[18:42]:** I just remembered that one of the last things he said to me was a homophobic remark meant to hurt me.

 **Sigurd[18:43]:** Makes a little more sense now.

 **Hvitserk[18:44]:** how so?

 **Hvitserk[18:48]:**????

 **Sigurd[18:50]:** I’ll explain it to you another time, Hvitserk.

 **Hvitserk[18:51]:** ????

 **Hvitserk[18:54]:** fine.

 **Hvitserk[18:55]:** anyone still wanna help me here? i cant avoid him longer

 **Sigurd[18:56]:** You are avoiding him?

 **Hvitserk[18:57]:** obviously… shits awkward

 **Hvitserk[18:58]:** \+ im a lil scared

 **Hvitserk[19:00]:** dont wanna say anything stupid u know

 **Hvitserk[19:01]:** wanna be a good ally & all

 **Ubbe[19:04]:** How very admirable.

 **Hvitserk[19:05]:** shut up ubbe! no one asked u.

 **Ubbe[19:06]:** You put this into the group chat?

 **Hvitserk[19:07]:** doesnt give u the right 2 bitch about it

 **Sigurd[19:10]:** Guys

 **Sigurd[19:11]:** Before this turns into a petty argument and nothing else

 **Sigurd[19:12]:** Hvitserk I am not an expert, but I do think one of the golden rules as an ally is not to out someone to other people

 **Hvitserk[19:13]:** ok?

 **Hvitserk[19:15]:** wait. r u telling me that i already fucked up?

 **Sigurd[19:16]:** In a sense…

 **Hvitserk[19:17]:** FUCK

 **Ubbe[19:45]:** Well that brought an end to this conversation.

 **Sigurd [19:46]:** :)

 **Sigurd[19:56]:** Have a good day Ubbe, I am off to lunch

 **Ubbe[19:58]:** You too, Sigurd.

**Next Day**

**Hvitserk[8:45]:** alright i did a lil research. we r doing this.

 **Ubbe[8:48]:** Will you never stop?

 **Hvitserk[8:50]:** absolutely not!

 **Hvitserk[8:51]:** i have sneaked out of our apartment & sat down in this coffee shop & i will not leave until i have found a way to show my support 4 ivar.

 **Sigurd[8:54]:** So committed.

 **Ubbe[8:55]:** You are still awake? 

**Sigurd[8:56]:** Yes, unlike you, some people actually have an active social life and go out sometimes.

 **Ubbe[8:58]:** Must be a good party, when you feel the need to reply to this chat.

 **Sigurd[9:00]:** Touché

 **Hvitserk[9:02]:** r u 2 done?

 **Sigurd[9:04]:** I think so.

 **Hvitserk[9:06]:** good. bc all these online articles r not helpful.

 **Ubbe[9:08]:** Again: I am not helping you.

 **Hvitserk[9:10]:** all these articles just focus on what 2 do when some1 has come out but ivar has not officially come out. i just walked in on them.

 **Hvitserk[9:11]:** then stfu ubbe

 **Ubbe[9:13]:** Then don’t post it in the group chat.

 **Sigurd[9:15]:** Hvitserk, this might not be too important, but you know that there are more orientation than gay and straight right?

 **Hvitserk[9:16]:** ofc

 **Hvitserk[9:17]:** pretty sure that ivars bi

 **Hvitserk[9:18]:** or pan

 **Hvitserk[9:20]:** cant really tell the difference

 **Sigurd[9:21]:** Definition wise there is none.

 **Sigurd[9:22]:** Historically the terms have different origins.

 **Hvitserk[9:23]:** oh

 **Hvitserk[9:24]:** k

 **Ubbe[9:26]:** How do you know so much about the topic, Sigurd?

 **Sigurd[9:27]:** I’m a music major, you either get bi curious or go under.

 **Ubbe[9:30]:** Ok.

 **Ubbe[9:34]:** Is this your…?

 **Sigurd[9:35]:** No.

 **Ubbe[9:36]:** Okay

 **Sigurd[9:38]:** Ivar still could be gay, Hvitserk. It’s really up to him. No one ever knows what’s going on in someone’s mind.

 **Hvitserk[9:40]:** yeh but rmr how obsessed he was with margrethe?

 **Sigurd[9:42]:** Could be his way of overcompensating

 **Sigurd[9:43]:** Although given that I know his porn search history, I doubt he is gay as well.

 **Ubbe[9:45]:** I better not ask.

 **Sigurd[9:46]:** Don’t worry Ubbe, it was less weird than yours.

 **Ubbe[9:48]:** HEY

 **Hvitserk[9:49]:** btw ubbe hows margrethe doing?

 **Ubbe[9:50]:** YOU KNOW NOTHING.

 **Sigurd[9:51]:** I wish I knew nothing. I wish I could delete that from my memory, but no.

 **Sigurd[9:52]:** No one in this family knows how to delete their browser history, it is a tragedy.

 **Hvitserk[9:53]:** ????? @Ubbe

 **Ubbe[9:54]:** She is fine.

 **Hvitserk[9:57]:** …?

 **Hvitserk[9:58]:** thats it?

 **Hvitserk[9:59]:** thats all i get?

 **Ubbe[10:00]:** Hvitserk. Not. Here.

 **Hvitserk[10:01]:** y the hell not?

 **Sigurd[10:10]:** If this is about your threesome then don’t worry: I know.

 **Sigurd[10:11]:** We all know.

 **Sigurd[10:12]:** And let me tell you just now, yes it’s super weird.

 **Sigurd[10:13]:** The fact that we all slept with Margrethe. Very weird of us.

 **Sigurd[10:14]:** Not our best moment.

 **Ubbe[10:17]:** Don’t worry, she didn’t mind.

 **Sigurd[10:19]:** Is that what you tell yourself to sleep at night?

 **Ubbe[10:21]:** No, that’s what I know given that I married her.

 **Sigurd[10:22]:** She told you?

 **Ubbe[10:23]:** Not in these words specifically, but yes.

 **Ubbe[10:25]:** Truth is she would’ve married any of us to gain our father’s money.

 **Hvitserk[10:26]:**????

 **Hvitserk[10:27]:** everything alright with you 2?

 **Sigurd[10:28]:** I don’t have time to unpack this, but honestly good for her.

 **Ubbe[10:28]:** Everything is fine.

 **Hvitserk[10:29]:** ??????

 **Sigurd[10:29]:** Whoever gets strangled close to death by Ivar deserves all our money tbh.

 **Sigurd[10:30]:** Good to hear that you follow father’s footsteps Ubbe. One of us had to.

 **Ubbe[10:31]:** Don’t get it twisted, it’s not like Dad at all.

 **Ubbe[10:32]:** Mom wasn’t a gold digger.

 **Sigurd[10:32]:** Sure.

 **Sigurd[10:33]:** If it helps you sleep at night!

 **Sigurd[10:33]:** Now that we are talking about it. Whose idea was the threesome?

 **Hvitserk[10:34]:** ubbe

 **Ubbe[10:35]:** Hvitserk…

 **Sigurd[10:35]:** That sounds about right.

 **Ubbe[10:36]:** We talked about this.

 **Ubbe[10:37]:** What’s that supposed to mean???

 **Sigurd[10:38]:** Nothing you are a bit weird. That’s all.

 **Hvitserk[10:40]:** he knows about it anyway

 **Ubbe[10:42]:** Still.

 **Hvitserk[10:44]:** u r just pissed bc its pretty obvious that im better in bed than u.

 **Ubbe[10:45]:** That is NOT true.

 **Sigurd[10:46]:** This is the reason I stayed up!

 **Sigurd[10:47]:** Tell me the truth, Hvitserk! How much does Ubbe suck?

 **Sigurd[10:48]:** Is he one of the guys that thinks that his dick alone will create an amazing experience?

 **Ubbe[10:50]:** Fuck you, Sigurd.

 **Ubbe[10:51]:** Hvitserk, if you say anything further…

 **Hvitserk[10:59]:** sighs we have diverted from the actual purpose of this convo

 **Hvitserk[11:00]:** helping ivar

 **Ubbe[11:02]:** Oh thank god.

 **Sigurd[11:04]:** NOOo

 **Sigurd[11:05]:** :(

 **Hvitserk[11:06]:** ill tell u later.

 **Ubbe[11:07]:** You will not.

 **Hvitserk[11:08]:** there isnt really anything u can do about it.

 **Ubbe[11:10]:** I can and I will.

 **Hvitserk[11:13]:** anyway how do i deal with ivar?

 **Sigurd[11:15]:** Honestly no Idea!

 **Hvitserk[11:17]:** :(

 **Sigurd[11:19]:** You are on your own.

 **Hvitserk[11:20]:** :((

 **Hvitserk[11:22]:** i just want 2 support him u know like ubbe would.

 **Sigurd[11:25]:** Well Ubbe is 90% hollow promises and 10% execution so you are really doing great.

 **Hvitserk[11:27]:** thanx

 **Ubbe[11:28]:** HEY

 **Sigurd[11:28]:** No problem :)

 **Sigurd[11:29]:** You’re still reading the chat, Ubbe?

 **Ubbe[11:31]:** Why are you so mean to me? What did I do to you? I was literally on your side when it came to Ivar.

 **Sigurd[11:35]:** You were on my side because you were pissed that Ivar became independent and didn’t listen to you anymore. It had less to do with me and everything to do with you and your ego.

 **Sigurd[11:37]:** All these years of Ivar and me fighting and no one ever did a thing. How often did we throw plates at each other? Or fought at the dinner table and none of you did anything.

 **Sigurd[11:40]:** You are no hero, Ubbe, so stop playing one. I don’t need your support.

**Ubbe has left the chat.**

**Hvitserk[11:43]:** :(

 **Sigurd[11:45]:** Shit.

 **Sigurd[11:46]:** My anger got the best of me again.

 **Hvitserk[11:48]:** im sorry 2

 **Hvitserk[11:50]:** we r such a fucked up family.

 **Sigurd[11:52]:** Yeah.

 **Sigurd[11:54]:** I will have to apologize, I think.

 **Hvitserk[11:57]:** u would?

 **Sigurd[12:00]:** Of course. Therapy has taught me many things.

 **Hvitserk[12:02]:** sounds great! :D

 **Sigurd[12:04]:** It is. It would do you good as well.

 **Hvitserk[12:06]:** dont worry about me. i never got into any conflict. nothing ever really was about me. im fine.

 **Sigurd[12:08]:** Hvitserk…

 **Hvitserk[12:12]:**?

 **Sigurd[12:15]:** Nothing, it’s late. Please take care of yourself.

 **Hvitserk[12:17]:** always

 **Hvitserk[12:19]:** i know u blocked ivar but would u consider unblocking him just 2 tell him that u support him?

 **Sigurd[12:24]:** Okay first off, I didn’t block him. He blocked me.

 **Sigurd[12:25]:** Just to make that clear.

 **Sigurd[12:26]:** I got the restraining order, but he was the one that blocked me.

 **Hvitserk[12:26]:** y

 **Sigurd[12:28]:** The usual. I made an observation that hit too close to home and he couldn’t stand it.

 **Sigurd[12:30]:** But if it is any comfort to you IF he had not blocked me I would send him something.

 **Sigurd[12:32]:** Something like “I support you from afar 💖”

 **Sigurd[12:35]:** Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go to sleep and then craft an apology for Ubbe.

 **Sigurd[12:36]:** This will be tedious.

 **Hvitserk[12:39]:** best of luck!

 **Hvitserk[12:40]:** sleep well

**Two days later.**

**Sigurd added Ubbe to the Groupchat “Sane Brothers’ Club”**

**Sigurd[17:38]:** Done!

 **Ubbe[18:30]:** I honestly don’t know why I’m back. It’s not like this was productive anyway.

 **Sigurd[18:33]:** We should stay in contact. Even if we only yell at each other sometimes.

 **Ubbe[18:40]:** If you say so.

 **Sigurd[18:56]:** I do say so.

 **Hvitserk[18:59]:** UBBE!!!! :D

 **Ubbe[19:00]:** Hey

 **Hvitserk[19:03]:** ur back!

 **Ubbe[19:06]:** Yeah

 **Hvitserk[19:08]:** right in time

 **Hvitserk[19:10]:** there have been some developments!

 **Ubbe[19:14]:** Of course.

 **Ubbe[19:16]:** Bring it.

 **Hvitserk[19:19]:** so i met the guy officially

 **Hvitserk[19:20]:** semi officially.

 **Ubbe[19:24]:** Okay, how was it.

 **Hvitserk[19:28]:** awkward as fuck

 **Sigurd[19:30]:** Naturally

 **Ubbe[19:30]:** Naturally.

 **Sigurd[19:33]:** What did Ivar say?

 **Hvitserk[19:35]:** nothing

 **Sigurd[19:36]:** Interesting strategy.

 **Hvitserk[19:38]:** he was pissed as usual

 **Ubbe[19:40]:** That sounds like Ivar.

 **Ubbe[19:42]:** Do you think he will make it official?

 **Hvitserk[19:45]:** idk

 **Hvitserk[19:47]:** i mean

 **Hvitserk[19:48]:** the guys a priest

 **Ubbe[19:50]:** THAT GUY IS A PRIEST?

 **Hvitserk[19:50]:** so i guess thats why ivar wont make it official

 **Hvitserk[19:51]:** yeh?

 **Ubbe[19:56]:** In all of these discussions we had about Ivar, you forgot to mention that Ivar is dating a PRIEST?

 **Sigurd[19:58]:** He has clearly seen too much Fleabag.

 **Hvitserk[19:58]:** bc i dont judge him

 **Hvitserk[19:59]:** i support my brother in all his priest fucking endeavors. 

**Hvitserk[20:00]:** bc i am an ally!

 **Ubbe[20:03]:** Unbelievable

 **Sigurd[20:06]:** The fact that neither of you got my Fleabag reference is the reason I don’t come around anymore.

 **Hvitserk[20:08]:** ?

 **Sigurd[20:10]:** Nvm

 **Ubbe[20:12]:** I got your Fleabag reference, I just didn’t find it very funny.

 **Sigurd[20:14]:** I will ignore the opportunity to make fun of your humor and simply ask: you watch Fleabag?

 **Ubbe[20:18]:** Torvi watches it.

 **Hvitserk[20:20]:** & u know what torvi watches?

 **Ubbe[20:25]:** Yes.

 **Hvitserk[20:27]:** y

 **Ubbe[20:30]:** It’s none of your business

 **Hvitserk[20:32]:** hm.

 **Sigurd[20:35]:** Indeed: Hm.

 **Ubbe[20:37]:** Can we go back to Ivar fucking a priest?

 **Sigurd[20:40]:** You are really surprised?

 **Ubbe[20:43]:** … yes?

 **Sigurd[20:46]:** Sucks to be you.

 **Sigurd[20:47]:** I mean

 **Ubbe[20:49]:** No, you’re right. It’s my fault that I’m surprised by Ivar.

 **Ubbe[20:50]:** It sucks to be me.

 **Ubbe[20:52]:** But in all honesty, where does one find a priest to date?

 **Sigurd[20:54]:** Grindr?

 **Ubbe[20:58]:** Really?

 **Sigurd[21:05]:** I don’t know.

 **Sigurd[21:06]:** Maybe Ivar wanted to atone for his sins and make a confession

 **Sigurd[21:09]:** And one thing led to the other.

 **Ubbe[21:14]:** We are not Catholic. We are barely Protestant.

 **Sigurd[21:18]:** I just like the idea of Ivar atoning for his sins, okay?

 **Ubbe[21:21]:** I see.

 **Ubbe[21:36]:** But that sounds like you are doing well Hvitserk.

 **Hvitserk[21:40]:** idk

 **Hvitserk[21:49]:** honestly i wish it was less awkward.

 **Hvitserk[21:52]:** i kind of wanna talk with ivar about it

 **Hvitserk[21:56]:** but i dont know where 2 start

 **Sigurd[22:00]:** Yeah.

 **Sigurd[22:06]:** I think none of us would know how to deal with that topic.

 **Ubbe[22:09]:** Yes, I wouldn’t.

 **Hvitserk[22:14]:** sighs

**A few weeks later**

**Ubbe[10:46]:** Alright, I bite.

 **Ubbe[10:47]:** How is the whole situation going?

 **Hvitserk[11:36]:** the situation?

 **Ubbe[12:17]:** Ivar having a romantic relationship with a priest?

 **Hvitserk[12:30]:** oh that

 **Ubbe[12:31]:** Oh that?

 **Hvitserk[12:31]:** they broke up

 **Ubbe[12:38]:** Oh

 **Ubbe[12:40]:** A predictable conclusion.

 **Hvitserk[12:48]:** yeh

 **Ubbe[12:50]:** Not really sure how to have a stable relationship with a priest

 **Ubbe[12:53]:** And on top of it, it’s Ivar.

 **Hvitserk[12:57]:** yea

 **Ubbe[13:02]:** So how are things going?

 **Hvitserk[13:05]:** ivar drunk himself 2 death 4 2 days

 **Hvitserk[13:10]:** it was bad

 **Hvitserk[13:12]:** & then he found some1 new

 **Ubbe[13:28]:** WHAT?

 **Ubbe[13:30]:** IVAR FOUND SOMEONE NEW?

 **Ubbe[13:32]:** Within a few weeks.

 **Hvitserk[13:36]:** hmh

 **Ubbe[13:40]:** Weird.

 **Hvitserk[13:43]:** she is

 **Hvitserk[13:45]:** weird

 **Ubbe[13:49]:** I mean, that fits Ivar.

 **Hvitserk[13:58]:** i think she actually likes ivar

 **Ubbe[14:02]:** I hope she does. She is in a relationship with him

 **Hvitserk[14:05]:** no i mean she finds him actually funny and is awfully nice.

 **Hvitserk[14:07]:** with the priest it felt like they were always close to being at each others throat

 **Hvitserk[14:09]:** but she agrees 2 everything he says.

 **Ubbe[14:13]:** Oh

 **Ubbe[14:15]:** Yeah, that sounds like something alright.

 **Hvitserk[14:17]:** but she really seems 2 like him…

 **Hvitserk[14:20]:** shrug

 **Sigurd[20:31]:** I have to say, someone liking Ivar and agreeing to everything he says, does sound suspicious.

 **Sigurd[20:35]:** Dating Ivar when you are a priest with a limited dating pool and a bad taste in men, okay.

 **Sigurd[20:37]:** Dating Ivar for his money, I get as well.

 **Sigurd[20:40]:** But for his personality alone? Very wrong. Something is not right with that woman.

 **Sigurd[20:41]:** She probably should go to therapy.

**Author's Note:**

> i know, this one is a bit weird and out there, so i get if it wasn't totally your jam, but i hope you laughed a little bit.
> 
> have a great day!


End file.
